Apparently some people can’t get that.

Take the call I just got not too long ago for example. The woman called in and starts off on a long rant about how they hate their service provider and they hate the equipment and they just want to be rid of it. I tell her the spiel about buying out the contract and she started laughing. I just kind of sat there waiting for her to tell me if there was anything else she needed. She asked me if I was joking, which I informed her I was not. We then proceed to have an all-too-often exchange of banter that goes something like “No.”/”Well, ma’am, that is what was in the contract you signed.”/”No. I’m not paying for a machine we won’t have and don’t want.”/”It’s in your contract.”

This continues for some time. Finally, it sunk in. “So we’re stuck?” I reiterate that it’s IN THE CONTRACT. Of course, I’m a customer service rep so that gives people automatic permission to call me foul names and hang up on me.

I really don’t get people sometimes. Read what’s in your contract BEFORE you sign it. Also, don’t pay all you want. See what happens.

I have to resist the urge every time to hide my snarky comebacks in my head. But usually I get the customer’s information and then calmly explain to them that it was because a certain bill was paid late and outside of their grace period. It’s not that difficult of a concept to grasp. Usually then this launches the customer into a tirade about how they don’t want to pay it and they shouldn’t have to and blah blah blah.

Honestly, corporate america, you know the drill. Companies need to make money so they do things like charge late fees. The solution? Pay your bill on time.

I’ve got two instances where people just didn’t get it.

Case A: A lady calls in questioning the 4 late fees they’ve gotten for 2008. I casually explain that the bills were paid late. The caller then launched into a long spiel about how their accounts payable person was out of the country for 3 months due to a death in the family and so they couldn’t get checks cut. I felt bad for the woman, really I did. But even so, what company is going to give you an extension for berevement. Is there not someone above her to cut the checks? Corporations don’t run on the schedule of one customer. They’ve got to make their money and hey, I don’t get paid without it. I went through the account to see if there was anything I could do. Looking at their history, it turns out they’ve had not one, but 5 different waives of late fees. Seriously. At that point, it’s just ridiculous. Pay your bill on time and you won’t get charged. They even lowered the charge for late fees for this company. Thanks for calling.

Case B: This call just started off on a bad note. I could barely understand the caller. She had me on speakerphone and refused to take me off so I had to hold my hands over my ears to hear her at all. She calls in requesting a late fee waive. I go through the routine and check the account. Already had the one time courtesy waive. It’s a standard business practice. I calmly explained to the woman that she’d already had her one time courtesy waive and that I couldn’t give her another one. Most people are okay hearing this. Her response? “That’s just f*****g retarded! I’ve never seen such awful business practices!” I explained that we offer the one time waive as a courtesy, but they did sign a contract stating that they would pay late fees. Thanks for calling.

Maybe this subject wasn’t that funny, but I had to rant a little bit. I’ve taken 5 calls in the past hour on late fees, so I’m not feeling a lot of sympathy right now. I’ve got funnier calls up my sleeve, so keep reading.

As a disclaimer, I’m not going to use any specific information such as names, companies, or anything here. Seriously, you don’t need to know those things. Don’t ask me for any of that because trust me, I won’t tell you.

Anyways, let the story-telling begin!